one does not suppose

one does not suppose

18 Jan 2006

that unrefrigerated bread will last for a month

which is another way of saying that if you leave a loaf of bread in your cupboard and then spend a month on a totally different continent, said loaf is really not supposed to be edible when you return. It should be hard, stale and totally covered in mould. That's what ordinary dead stuff does: it rots.

So apparently, this bread is totally loaded with preservatives. It was still soft, only a little bit stale, didn't smell funny and tasted totally normal. Despite the fact that I finished the remaining eight slices, I don't think I'll ever buy that brand again. Frankenbread? No frank you!

Now earlier I alluded to being on a different continent than the bread while *wasn't* rotting. One of us was in Canada, while the other was in Italy. Now it only makes sense for the evil, preservative-laden frankenbread to be from Canada, right? North America is a stronghold of newfangled unhealthy stuff and Italy is a pure as extra virgin olive oil.

Except not. When I buy preservative-laden bread in Canada, it goes mouldy after a week. And Italy, once the home of emperors and fresh olive oil, is foisting frankenbread on it's unsuspecting shoppers. Sigh....I'm so disillusioned

And also, frankenbread is a cool word.